Learning how to thrive after earning your PhD
You’ve been pouring your blood, sweat, and tears into your work for years. And now that you’ve earned your PhD, all sorts of things are coming up for you.
This is a big milestone and it makes sense that it can throw you off your game!
Based on today’s question, I’m addressing three different factors that could be at play here:
- redefining yourself now that you’re no longer a student,
- actively recovering from burnout, and
- the deep self-compassion that’s required as you send your thesis off into the world!
Listen to the video below or read on for more details and action steps to begin to address each of these challenges that could be causing you to struggle now that you’ve finished your thesis.
Today’s questioner asked: How do I cope with post-PhD thesis submission, burnout, and leaving academia?
There are a few parts at play here:
- If you’re like many people I know who’ve recently finished a PhD, you’ve never known a life when you were not a student. This means that you need to find a way to redefine yourself.
- You’re burnt out. That impacts your physical, mental, and emotional health and requires active attention to recover from.
- You’ve just invested years into producing your thesis. This product that you nurtured from inception to defense is now out in the world for others to see and comment on. It’s like sending your child off to school on the first day. This requires a deep level of self-compassion.
Let’s start with redefining yourself
If you find yourself struggling to understand who you are post-academia, it’s important to realize that this transition can create a little t trauma.
Little t trauma happens when our own understanding of our self and our identity is called into question. For the last two decades (or longer), you’ve been a student. Most likely it became part of your identity. Now that identity is gone. And you’re on a quest to redefine yourself.
That isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. Learning, growing, and changing is part of the human experience, and should be celebrated. However, if you’re feeling lost and struggling to understand who you are now, it’s important to honor that you’ve experienced a little t trauma and to give yourself time and space to process that. Check out this blog post for more information on what little t trauma is, and how to process it.
Note that moving to a new city or state, and leaving behind friends, family, and the place you called home for many years can pile on additional little t traumas.
A job doesn’t wash away this trauma
If you haven’t already secured a position, then you’re likely entering the job market at this point. It’s important to understand that if you begin to define yourself by your new job that does not wash away the trauma you experienced. Trauma is embedded in the body and needs to be processed in order to be released.
Also, I think it’s important to add that it’s a lot healthier to define yourself in ways that can’t be taken away from you – like being caring and compassionate, or a good listener, than by things which you know are more transient – like a job, your zip code, or your relationships.
Let’s move onto burnout
Burnout happens when we expend more energy than we replenish. To recover from burnout, you need to participate in more energy recovery activities than energy draining activities. Think about this the same way you would approach trying to gain weight – you need to take in more calories than you burn each and every day.
You might be wondering, ok, but how do I replenish my energy reserves? The answer – through self-care.
But self-care isn’t just a bath or a massage. It’s important you understand what counts as self-care for you – because self-care isn’t the same for everyone!
Here’s a good guideline – if it leaves you feeling like you just got an amazing hug from one of your favorite people in the whole world – that’s probably self-care.
You can learn more about self-care and how to build a self-care routine that works for you by downloading my free Self-Care Toolkit.
And check out this blog post for five tools to help you not only avoid burnout but which are also great for helping you recover from burnout.
Finally, let’s address sending your thesis off into the world
Your thesis is something you poured your time and energy (and probably blood, sweat, and tears) into over the last several years. It’s natural to feel vulnerable when you send it off into the world.
Not only are you concerned that you’ll be judged for the quality of your work, but it’s natural to feel protective of the way others receive your thesis.
If this resonates with you, take some time to practice deep self-compassion. Recognize that you are not your thesis. You produced it, but it doesn’t define who you are. And the response it receives does not reflect on your value as a person.
If you have a meditation or mindfulness practice, this is a great time to use it. If you don’t, consider some of these options to help you find ease with your discomfort. Meditation, mindfulness, breathwork, and yoga are all great tools to explore and find the right fit for you.
The bottom line on all of this, exercise extreme compassion and self-love right now. You’ve been through the ringer and you need to be gentle as you recover. When in doubt, ask yourself how you would treat a dear friend or loved one who’s been through the same situation? Then do that for yourself.
I’m sending you a great big hug – you’ve got this!
If you enjoyed this episode of Solicited Advice, check out other episodes, and while you’re there, make sure you subscribe to my YouTube Channel so you don’t miss out on future episodes released each Monday & Thursday!
