Meditation might not be what you think it is!
In this article I quote and link to several different people who are speakers and writers about meditation – each one presents the information in a way that resonates with me. If you’re looking to deepen your understanding of meditative practices, please visit each of their websites and see if one resonates with you.
You probably hear meditation mentioned a lot – based on who you talk to it can either be a magic bullet which will make all of our troubles go away or an impossible task of sitting still and banishing all thoughts from your mind. Here’s the thing though, meditation is neither of those.
What meditation is
Meditation is an incredibly powerful tool to help you change your life. It can help you shift from a sympathetic nervous system response (fight, flight, or freeze) to a parasympathetic nervous system response (rest & digest).
Meditation can help you move from a place of reacting to responding. It can help you gain internal space and find clarity in that space.
The physical benefits of meditation
Through meditation we switch from the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, or freeze) which so many of us live in every day to the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest).
This is critical for our physical health – the sympathetic nervous system when triggered moves all of our blood to our periphery to prepare to respond. As a result, our “non-critical” organs including the digestive system, reproductive system, and immune system don’t get what they need for peak performance.
Do you ever notice when you get really stressed you also tend to get sick, or you’re more likely to get indigestion? Conversely, think about someone you know who does a lot of meditation or yoga, in my experience, they just seem to glow with health.
By switching from the sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system, we give our bodies the space they need to optimally perform essential functions. Learn more about parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system responses in this post.
Reacting vs. responding
Do you ever find yourself feeling like you’re just putting out fires. Every situation that arises needed you to address it five minutes ago. And you just feel so overwhelmed by it all. Meditation can help you switch from reacting to responding. Psychology Today notes that “a reaction and a response may look alike, but they feel different.”
A reaction is made in the instant – it’s done without thinking and is based on beliefs which live in your subconscious mind. A response however is made using information from the conscious and subconscious mind, it’s made after considering the long-term effects of a decision and is aligned with your unique priorities.
The difference between a reaction and response is frequently just a breath or two – a moment to pause, think, and then respond.
Meditation helps you build the space which allows you to pause, consider the situation before you, and then respond rather than react. As Steven Webb notes, while the world may still be rushing around you, through meditation you can find a way to be the stillness in the storm. You make your way to the eye and sit in the calm while it all swirls around you.
Our thoughts are not the truth
For example, if you have a fight with your partner in the morning and later in the day they slip on a wet floor and break their arm, you might think – “this is all my fault, they must have been distracted because of our fight”. This story then replays in your head over and over, you feel guilty for their broken arm, you’re anxious about having another disagreement and so you suppress anything which might lead to a fight. You’re constantly worried about “causing” them to get hurt again.
Only the reality is that this whole story is just your thoughts – it’s not the truth. Through meditation we realize we can not change the external world – you didn’t make the floor wet and you didn’t prevent your partner from noticing the water before falling. What you do have control over though is your inner environment.
Through meditation you can step off the spinning hamster wheel of thoughts and acknowledge that the story you are telling yourself is just that – a story – not the truth.
And then change the story
Each time we need to make a decision, these unconscious beliefs, biases and prejudices contribute to help make that decision. I love the way Dayna Seraye explains this. She notes that your subconscious mind puts as much on autopilot as possible, including decision making based on these unconscious systems. Even once this programming becomes outdated (as we examine our beliefs, biases and prejudices), it’s still looping in our subconscious, contributing to our decisions.
Now picture your mind like an iceberg. Just like an iceberg, only a small percentage of your mind is conscious thoughts, the vast majority lives underwater in your subconscious.
However, through meditation, we can lower the water level, bringing more of the iceberg above the surface for us to examine. Once exposed, if we’re able to remain aware, meditative and detached, these outdated programs can surface and then be released.
What meditation is not
Meditation is not a magic wand that can be waved to turn you into a blissful relaxed goddess who has not a worry in the world. It’s not the absence of thought, rather it’s a sense of stillness. Meditation is not a one-size-fits-all practice. Just as with pranayama and asana, you need to find the practice that works for you where you are right now.
Meditation does not empty your mind
But the lake never dries up entirely, it’s never empty without any water in it. And similarly, your mind never empties entirely, there are still thoughts, but they come from a place of stillness, not chaos. As Steven Webb notes, the practice of meditation is trying to get our minds to move from running to walking to sitting to stillness.
Meditation is not a blissful experience
While you might feel relaxed after a mediation, the practice is not by nature relaxing. Meditation is a workout for your mind. Just like an endorphin high after a good workout makes you feel great, it doesn’t mean that you felt that way during the workout.
During meditation thoughts, feelings, emotions may all surface. The practice is recognizing that those thoughts, feelings and emotions are not you. They’re something you’re experiencing, but they’re not who you are.
Being able to watch these things surface, to acknowledge them, to observe them without judgement, and then to release them, that is the real practice of meditation. When you hear someone refer to witness consciousness, this is what they’re talking about. You are the witness to these experiences, but you’re not engaging with them, your observations are made without judgement.
This is where the real challenge is. Learning to be the passive witness, observing but not judging is not easy. However, through consistent practice, you’ll see incremental progress. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and witness consciousness isn’t achieved in a single meditation session.
And it isn’t about becoming emotionless
Through meditation we do not stop feeling anything. It doesn’t remove fear, anger, hatred, frustration, or love, happiness, joy, or pleasure. The goal is not to stop feeling, the goal is to be able to experience the feelings without attaching to them.
By remaining the witness consciousness, you experience joy, but don’t become attached to remaining joyful. You experience sadness, but know it’s just a passing emotion, you know you’re not a sad person.
In fact, by not attaching to emotions you’re able to experience them in a purer and easier way. If you don’t attach to happiness, your experience will not be marred by fear of losing it. And by not attaching to sadness, you can experience the feeling without falling into despair – knowing it’s temporary and will pass.
We are not cookie cutter humans
What works for me today might not work for me tomorrow. Similarly, what works for me, might not work for you. We’re each unique individuals and we each bring our own knowledge, experiences, subconscious beliefs and stories to our meditation practice.
There are a variety of ways to meditate, if you haven’t yet found a practice that works for you, I encourage you to explore techniques until you find what resonates.
Meditation does not require you to be a monk sitting on a mountainside in solitude. It really doesn’t even require you to be sitting. You can practice moving meditation, meditation through breathwork, mantra, or mudra, you can practice in silence or use a guided meditation. I try to provide a range of options for meditation on this site, hopefully you’ll find something that works for you.
While we each need to find our own practice, what’s critical is consistent practice. Meditation can serve a triage function, but the true benefits are seen when you practice regularly. Even if it’s only a few minutes a day, I encourage you to develop a daily practice of meditation.
I want to leave you with this quote from Dayna Seraye: “The thoughts will never go away, the goal is detachment and space between the thoughts. Meeting your monkey mind with space – the sacred pause – that is victory.
