Is watching tv self-care?
I’ve been thinking about tv a lot lately.
One of the 4C’s in Quieting Your Inner Critic is building a consistent, sufficient, and sustainable self-care & self-work routine. When I talk about self-care, I always distinguish it from self-work and distraction.
In a nutshell:
- Self-care is what nourishes and fills our reserves.
- Self-work is how we learn and grow.
- And distraction is something we use to pull us out of our lives.
When I have this conversation with someone, the topic of television inevitably comes up. Because so many of us turn on the tv at the end of the day as a way to unwind.
The way I think about (and talk about) television has changed over time, and after a recent interview, I was prompted to revist this topic. Over the last week, I’ve worked to get even more clarity on where exactly tv falls in the self-care vs. distraction debate.
Ultimately, I’ve boiled it down to two key points – intention and moderation. Read on to discover if your netflix & chill habit is actually self-care!
Intention
The reason why you turn on the tv can tell you a lot about how it impacts you.
- If you’re turning on the tv out of habit, it’s likely distraction.
- Perhaps you’re turning on the tv because you’re uncomfortable being alone with nothing to listen to but your own thoughts. In this case, not only is tv a distraction, but it’s also highlighting some clear self-work for you to focus on.
- If you use the words “zone out” when talking about your tv watching, again, chances are this activity is serving as a distraction.
- Maybe you’re watching tv with the intention of learning something – for example a documentary on a topic you’ve been called to or a YouTube video on how to replace the grout in your bathroom so you enjoy your morning shower. In this case, tv watching becomes a self-work activity.
- If you use television as a family activity, picking what you watch and finding a way to engage with each other during or after watching it can shift this into a self-care activity. (Growing up my parents, sister, and I would spread a blanket out on the living room floor once a week, pick-up a pizza and have an indoor picnic while watching old-school Dr. Who – by creating an event around the viewing, we turned television watching into quality family time that left everyone feeling nourished afterward.)
- Or, perhaps you’re turning on the tv with intentionality because you’re looking to use it to evoke an emotion, to entertain, or enlighten you. In this case, it might fall into self-care. Here’s where we hop into the next key point.
Moderation
Too much of anything can be a bad thing.
There’s a big difference between watching an hour or so of television before bed and binge watching an entire season of something.
Even if you turned on the tv with intentionality (see above for some different ways you might watch with tv with intention), if you look up at some point and are surprised at how late it’s gotten, you’ve probably moved into the realm of distraction.
There are a few more things to consider when determining the impact tv watching has on your life.
Multi-tasking
Under most circumstances, I’m not a fan of multi-tasking. What we often refer to as multi-tasking is simply rapid task switching. It results in doing each task with less accuracy, efficiency, and ease than we’d have been able to do if we were just focusing on one thing at a time.
However, when it comes to television, multi-tasking can actually allow us to take something that would have been merely a distraction and turn it into a self-care or self-work activity.
When watching tv at night, I like to knit. If it takes me a little longer to finish a project, or I miss some nuance on the show/movie I’m watching, it’s ok! Knitting relaxes me. It allows me to explore my creativity. It’s a great way for me to refill my reserves and is a form of self-care for me.
When you combine something which would fall under self-care or self-work with television and you do so in a way that doesn’t remove the nourishing and nurturing aspects of the self-care activity, or the educational and inspirational aspects of the self-work activity, you can bring value to something that would otherwise be simply distraction.
What you watch
I can’t handle scary movies or tv shows. After watching a zombie movie with Adam early in our relationship, I made him check behind the vertical blinds in our bedroom every night for a week before I’d go to bed. I happen to have a really active imagination, and scary or suspenseful things play into that – but not in a good way.
On the other hand, I love to watch people fall in love. Whether it’s a Hallmark movie, reality tv, or a classic RomCom, seeing people connect and develop deep feelings for each other gets me in the feels every time.
Keeping in mind intention and moderation, picking what you watch based on how it makes you feel can also shift your tv time from distraction (or worse – watching something scary actually adds additional stress, fear, and anxiety to my life – and not just while I’m watching tv) to self-care.
You can also shift tv time to self-work if you opt for something that makes you think, helps you learn, or encourages you to grow a deeper understanding of yourself or others. The classic example would be a documentary, but it could also be anything that gets you asking yourself questions.
Offering yourself grace
Sometimes in your journey through life, distracting yourself with tv is the best you can manage. And that’s ok. We all have our own journeys and our own experiences. If you don’t have the reserves to engage in self-work, and you don’t have the tools (or the right tools) to provide the self-care you need, give yourself grace if distracting yourself with tv helps you get through a few hours.
There are lots of things we can distract ourselves with. Sometimes it comes down to picking the least harmful option. If you know scrolling through social media always leaves you looping through mental comparisons to everyone else – and criticizing yourself for falling short, getting lost in the distraction of tv might be a better option.
There were points in my journey when my life was really painful. And I didn’t have the tools I do now to take care of myself. When faced with the choice of numbing with alcohol or television – tv seemed the better option. At least I didn’t wake up with a hangover the next morning.
Having said all that, if this feels all too familiar to you, start filling your toolbox with self-care tools and techniques that work for you. While distraction is often energy neutral (neither draining nor replenishing), it will keep you stuck. The best way to move forward is to start refilling your reserves through self-care so you have the energy you need to turn your attention to self-work instead of distraction.
Not sure where to start? Grab my free Self-Care Toolkit!
So is tv a bad thing
At the end of the day, tv isn’t good or bad. It really boils down to your intention when you turn it on, what you choose to watch, how you choose to watch it, and how much of it you watch.
If you’re finding you’re constantly falling short of your goals, unable to accomplish the things you want on your to-do list, or feeling yucky about yourself and your choices after watching tv, that’s a great sign it’s not working for you – at least not in the way you’re currently approaching it.
If you feel invigorated, excited, enlightened, or any other emotion you sat down to experience before turning on the tv after you turn it off, it sounds like you’ve found a way to make tv work for you.
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