Can you love something you’re not good at?
In today’s episode of Solicited Advice, I dive into what it actually means to be good at something. If you ever find yourself wishing you were “good” at an activity so you could enjoy it, the answer might surprise you! This is a simple mindset shift, but can make a huge difference in the way you see yourself and all the activities you engage in.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard someone say, if I was good at ______ (fill in the blank) I would do it more often. I get so upset when I hear someone say that – first, you’re never going to be good at something if you don’t practice! And second, I hate the idea that you’re avoiding a joyful activity because you don’t think you’re “good” at it.
Before we dive into this answer, I’ll be referring to surfing during this episode of Solicited Advice because that’s what the questioner asked about, however, this answer applies to anything you might love doing but don’t feel like you’re “good” at.
What does it mean to be good at something?
Ok, I’m going to challenge your assumption that you aren’t good at surfing.
Let’s look at the guide you’re using to measure “good”.
Do you want to become a professional surfer? Are you hoping to land in the pages of the top surfing magazines? Do you want to get sponsored by a surf board company? Maybe you’re hoping to become a social media influencer known for your surfing videos?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, then I can see where you feel you’re not yet “good” at surfing.
If your goal is to become a professional surfer in some capacity, then you need to take a hard look at your life and figure out how you can make getting in the water every single day a priority!
However, since you haven’t moved to a city where you can surf everyday, I’m guessing that it’s something you do for the pure joy of it anytime you get a chance, and not because you want to make it your career. In which case, it sounds like you’re really, really, really good at it.
If getting on your board and playing in the waves is something you love, do you need to be the next world famous pro surfer? Or is getting the dopamine hit and adrenaline rush enough?
Once you clarify what success in an activity looks like, it’s a lot easier to know if you’re actually good at something.
Focus on the intention and the experience, not the outcome
I saw a post on social media recently from a well known mama who was working on a puzzle with her daughter and noted that she wasn’t good at doing puzzles.
If I was coaching her, I would ask her what her intention was when starting that puzzle with her daughter – was she seeking to finish it as fast as possible? Or was she looking to have quality time engaging in an activity with her daughter? Is being good at the activity completing the puzzle quickly, maybe it’s putting in more pieces than her daughter, or is it instead enjoying time spent together?
This applies to anything in life – first figure out what your goal for the activity is. Then once you have a guide to measure success, you’ll be in a much better place to decide if you’re good at it!
I’m sending you a great big hug – you’ve got this!
