Magical methods to make even your chores enjoyable!
Let’s be honest for a minute. Sometimes, no matter how much work we do to create our best life, there will be things we have to do or experience which we might otherwise wish to avoid. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still find a way to make those things enjoyable!
Last week, we talked about what to do when everything in your life feels like a chore. If you missed that episode, give it a listen before diving into this one. I’m going to be offering advice in this episode assuming you’ve already listened to the last one and the tasks we’re talking about today are truly necessary!
Building Resilience Through Self-Care
I touched on this last week, but a great way to shift things from feeling difficult to enjoyable is to increase your resilience. And a great way to do that is through self-care.
But before we get to the self-care, let’s talk about resilience for a minute.
What is resilience?
Being resilient doesn’t mean you aren’t bothered by things.
Rather it means that when life throws you a curve ball, you’re able to bounce back faster and with greater ease than if you were less resilient.
Think about your favorite pair of sweats or pajama bottoms. The ones you wore so much the elastic began to stretch out more and more and finally gave up so you could only keep them on by tying the drawstring.
For a long time, that elastic kept bouncing back into shape after being stretched out. But unfortunately, we can’t revitalize elastic, so eventually, it lost it’s resilience and was no longer able to function.
Our mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing functions in much the same way as that elastic. When we experience stress, we become stretched, sometimes pushed to our limits. Eventually, our resilience will diminish and we no longer have the ability to function in the way we’d like.
How self-care helps build resilience
Unlike the elastic in your sweats, we can revitalize ourselves! Through self-care, we’re able to replenish and restore ourselves – think of it like if each time your sweats went into the wash the elastic was magically reset back to it’s original elasticity.
When we work on building up our resilience, the mountains in our lives begin to feel like molehills. And things that once felt incredible difficult, suddenly don’t feel so hard anymore. They might not be enjoyable, but we don’t feel so overwhelmed and challenged by them as we might have if we were less resilient.
And the key to building our resilience is consistent, sufficient, and sustainable self-care. If you’re feeling like your self-care routine could use a little tune-up, check out Episode 4 of the podcast.
And then get your copy of my free Self-Care Toolkit – with 27 pages packed full of self-care tips and techniques, it will guide you through creating a self-care routine that actually works for you and your life – while shifting it from just one more item on your to-do list to something you actually look forward to!
Moving From Less Difficult to Actually Enjoyable
But just like I want you to aim for so much better than ok, this isn’t just about making difficult things seem less difficult. It’s about shifting the way we approach difficult things to make them enjoyable or fulfilling. And for that we need to turn to a mindset shift.
I feel like mindset is one of those buzz words that’s getting thrown around a lot lately. And while I usually get a little nervous about buzz words being distorted and taking on an unexpected (and not always accurate) meaning, I’m really glad people are talking about mindset.
Because it simply means the way you think about things – quite literally the set of your mind.
And that is POWERFUL! Because the way we think about things actually creates our experience.
If that feels really woo-woo, stay with me for a second – there’s a lot of research to back this up.
The Way We Think Creates Our Experience – Confirmation Bias
Let’s start with confirmation bias. This is a psychological concept that states once you believe something to be true, you’ll look for evidence to support your belief. This in turn deepens your conviction in your belief.
For example, if you believe parents shouldn’t take their children to sit-down restaurants because they can’t behave. When you dine out, you’ll only notice the children misbehaving, while you’ll miss registering the children engaging in quiet conversation and enjoying their meal.
This works on your view of yourself and your internal experiences as well. If you believe you don’t deserve to be happy, you’ll be constantly looking for opportunities to be unhappy while missing chances to be happy.
The same can be said if you think tasks shouldn’t be enjoyable, in that case you’ll focus on all the difficult and unenjoyable aspects while missing out on all the rewarding ones.
The Way We Think Creates Our Experience – Negativity Bias
Next let’s talk about the negativity bias. Again this is a psychological concept that states we’re more likely to remember negative experience than positive ones, and we’re more much more likely to have negative thoughts than positive ones.
Just like with the nervous system, our negativity bias serves a survival purpose that hasn’t caught up with the pace of the modern world. When most of the things we encountered on a daily basis were trying to kill us – think apex predators, poisonous plants when were gathered much of our food, and people from a rival group – it was to our benefit to always be on the lookout for danger. It kept us alive.
However, in the world we live in today, most of us are much less likely to encounter dangerous situations, and much more likely to have positive experiences. However, we still find ourselves focusing on the negative.
Your Experience is Determined by Your Thoughts and Actions
Combine those two biases with studies that find 40% of our happiness is determined by our thoughts and actions. If we’re constantly focused on the negative side of things, that means we’re skewing that 40% away from happiness and enjoyment.
So let’s talk about what this all means in our actual lives.
If you believe something will be difficult, chances are it will. And if you shift your mindset to believe that it will in fact be enjoyable, then chances are it will be!
Shifting your perspective
For my entire adult life, if you asked me how I felt about rainy days, I would’ve told you I wasn’t a big fan.
But then Adam and I bought our house. And while the house itself is amazing, when we stepped into the backyard, we knew it was the perfect fit for us! The previous owner had poured countless hours and love into building gardens throughout the property.
Our gardens are filled with flowers and plants of all kinds. From early spring to late fall, there’s something blooming outside. And for much of the year, everything is lush and green.
Until we reach mid-July. When despite the humidity, the heat of summer begins to parch the earth. And the plants start to wilt and droop by mid-day. I have to go out each morning and each evening to water the vegetables and any other plants which appear to be at a critical thirst level.
This past summer, for the first time since I can remember, I’d hopefully search the weather forecast for predictions of rain. Because for the first time, rain didn’t mean an absence of sun, it mean a break and nourishment for the plants. A chance to get a much needed drink of water and respite from the hot sun.
Grey days now make me hopeful – fingers crossed that they’ll bring a bit of rain with them.
I still love sunny days. The bright cheerful sun creates rainbows on our walls, it makes the drops of water the birds splash out of the birdbath sparkle, and it also feeds the plants. But I love the cloudy rainy days now too.
The world around me didn’t change, I did. I shifted my mindset, allowing myself to see the positive aspects of something I’d always resented.
The Mindset Shift to Make Chores Fun
Think of a difficult task you’re facing. Is there a way to shift the way you approach it so it becomes something to look forward to instead of something you dread?
Here’s another question to ask yourself – does something have to be difficult?
Recently I’ve been working to remove the word “hard” from my vocabulary. In the past I might have said the process of self-discovery was hard work. But I’ve come to realize that means I’m setting an expectation for myself. Maybe instead the self-discovery process can feel easy or joyful. But going back to that confirmation bias – if I think it will be difficult, changes are it will be.
Focus on Your Why
Another way to look at this is to focus on the why behind those tasks you’d rather not do. We covered this in depth in Episode 2 of the podcast – listen to that episode and get the worksheet to discover your why.
To recap the importance of find your why – when we identify, and focus on, the why behind the difficult tasks we’re facing, we lift some of the heaviness from them. They cease to be something we have to do and become a means to an end.
Even if you enjoy the process of getting from point A to point B, you’re much more excited about the journey when you’re looking forward to arriving at point B. But if you’re dreading the journey, when you’re eager to reach point B, it makes it much easier to get started!
But We’re Still Talking About Chores
And at this point, you might be thinking – ok Kate – I get it, I’ve found my why, and I’ve worked on a mindset shift to reframe the experience from a negative one to a positive one. But honestly, we’re still talking about scrubbing the bathroom – and no matter how much I love a clean bathroom, I’m struggling to make this fun.
And I get it. Growing up, each person in my family had a chore. I actually volunteered to scrub the bathrooms. Because after I was finished scrubbing them, I was allowed to use watercolors to paint a mural on the shower wall. It was usually gone by the next week, but I LOVED painting those murals. I don’t really remember scrubbing the bathroom, but I do remember spending hours dreaming up designs and painting them in the bathroom.
Gamifying Your Chores Makes them FUN!
Let’s take this a step further – for those necessary tasks that feel more like something you need to get through rather than something you might enjoy, try gamifying them. Think of Mary Poppins – “just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in a most delightful way”.
Here are a few options to try gamifying your chores.
- Can you clean the house in the time it takes you to listen to the current episode of your favorite podcast?
- Try putting on your favorite Pandora or Spotify station and having a dance party while cooking dinner.
- Break a candy bar into pieces and have a bite every time you complete a page in the report you’re writing.
- Or plan a fun outing with your family or a friend as the prize when you finish a big project.
Pick something that feels joyful, fun, or ignites your competitive spirit, and focus on that – not the actual chore. The key ingredient here is making sure you follow through on any promises you make to yourself. If you don’t, it’ll be much harder to incentivize yourself the next time you try this technique.
Making Chores Enjoyable – In a Nutshell
Ok, let’s review – in Podcast Episode 9 and Episode 2 we’ve covered how to review and trim your to-do list so you’ve taken off all the stuff that isn’t really necessary. But even once you’ve done that, there will still be things you’d rather not do.
To shift those tasks from difficult to enjoyable, build your resilience with consistent, sufficient, and sustainable self-care, focus on mindset shifts to help you see the silver lining in these activities, identify and focus on the why behind the task, and then gamify – find a technique that works for you to take the chore from difficult to exciting.
I’d love to know – which of these ideas resonated the most with you? Which are you excited to begin implementing in your daily life to shift what were once difficult activities to fulfilling or enjoyable endeavors?
Remember – living your best life isn’t about changing your life – it’s about changing the way you show up for your life!
Show Notes
Additional Resources
Listen to Podcast Episode #9 (How to Shift Your Life When Everything Feels Like a Chore)
Listen to Podcast Episode #4 (What Might Be Wrong with Your Self-Care Routine)
Get the Free Self-Care Toolkit.
Listen to Podcast Episode #2 (The Fastest Way to Reach Your Goals – Discovering Your Why)
Schedule a Discovery Session with me.
Submit your question to be featured on a future episode.
