How hard is it to change who you are?
Do you wish you could change some aspect of who you are? Maybe it’s a habit you would rather leave behind? Or perhaps it’s a thought pattern or belief?
In today’s episode of Solicited Advice, I’m talking about not only how difficult it is to change who you are, but also how to make that process of change easier. The easier you make the process, the greater your chances of success in implementing the change!
Why do you want to change who you are?
- Are you trying to change so you can fit into your perception of someone else’s ideal?
- Do you believe that in order to be liked, accepted, and loved by others you need to change who you are?
- Or are you trying to change habits, thought patterns, and behaviors which you’ve identified as detracting from your happiness and wellbeing?
- Do you want to move away from something you’re currently doing which is bringing you frustration, stress, and anxiety?
If you’re trying to change yourself to match your perception of someone else’s ideal, then the answer is – it’s really hard. In this case, you’re trying to pretend to be something and someone you aren’t. And not because it makes you happy, but because you think it might make someone else happy.
However, if you have habits, behaviors, and thought patterns you’ve recognized as standing between you and genuine happiness, odds are these things are out of alignment with your true self. And while change is never easy, these changes will be much easier (and much more likely to stick) than if you were trying to change for someone else.
The exception of addictions
The one exception here is addictions. You know smoking is bad for your health. And you want to quit, however, because it’s addictive, even though your desire to leave this habit behind is in alignment with your true self, you may struggle to make this change.
If you’re dealing with an addiction, seek out the help of a medical or mental health professional to support you through the process.
Ok, now back to the path to happiness.
Releasing the “shoulds” so you can change who you are
Throughout our lives we pick up “rules” from our family, friends, and society. I call these the “shoulds”.
Rule like – smart women should read a book every week. Pretty women shouldn’t leave the house without makeup. Nice girls should put the needs of others first.
If you find yourself shoulding all over yourself, odds are at the core, you recognize these beliefs as out of alignment with your own unique priorities and values.
And if that’s the case, while it isn’t easy to change, these changes fall into place much more easily!
So you’ve identified a change that you want to make, and you’ve determined it’s in alignment with your true self – how do you get started?
Break the change down into small steps
When we try to make major changes all at once, we set ourselves up for failure.
However, when we break down the changes into small steps, we set ourselves up for success with dozens of mini-wins along the way.
Ready to get started? Check out this blog post all about taking small steps to set yourself up for success!
